“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version) This is one of my very favorite Bible verses. It is a great comfort in challenging situations. It is NOT intended to make our Heavenly Father into Santa Claus. His plan for you is not to give you candy, toys, cartoons and amusement parks. His plan is to nourish your soul as well as your body. His plan is to bring you home to Him one day. Eternity in heaven is your hope and future! When troubled, turn to this verse and remember that God holds you in the palm of His hand, and wants to spend eternity with you!

Every one makes some less than perfect choices. Own them, figure out how to avoid repeating, and move on. Dr.Phil says “You either make the right decision or you make the decision right.” As often as possible, learn from the mistakes of others rather than repeat them. If you must mess up, use it for reference in the future. (The first time you mis-step might be accidental, repetition usually isn’t.)

‘Forgive’ doesn’t mean ‘forget’. If they don’t belong in your life, don’t be lazy and let them stay. Kick ‘em out and move on.

Forgiveness is something you do for your own well-being. Don’t allow another to live in your thoughts ‘rent’-free’. Kick them out by forgiving them. “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times - seven times. -- Matthew 18: 21, 21

ChildLIKE is not the same as childISH. Always be the first word, never the second. An easy way to remember this is to remember the ends of both words: LIKE and ISH. “At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.” -- Matthew 18: 1 - 5

Be part of the solution rather than part of the problem. When you disagree, whether it is a person, a position, a law, a practice, or anything else, it is irresponsible and immature to stand on the sidelines and protest, shout, pout, cast aspersions, or denigrate. Any time you disagree, FIRST sit down and think it through. If you think about it for a bit, you will find that you can have a difference of opinion with less chance of harming that relationship, than if you go in “hot”. A mature and responsible person pauses to think before speaking, AND presents a solution or an alternative along with their opposition. Most “hot topics” would disappear if this was common practice. For example: if you are anti-abortion, work on ways that prevent the pregnancy in the first place, like cherishing yourself and your future spouse and practicing abstinence. It is 100% effective at preventing pregnancy and STD’s. Think of it and teach it in the positive; as a gift, rather than as a restriction or prohibition. Tend to the unwanted, uncherished, and mistreated people -- foster care, adoption, shelters, even anti-bullying. Talk is cheap. DO something. Work to make the thing you disagree with disappear. Returning to the example: the solution to abortion is not banning it, it’s making it irrelevant. If you can’t present a solution to a difference of opinion, keep your mouth shut until you can!

When you have a disagreement with someone, or feel the urge to pass judgement on another, refer to Matthew 18, AFTER you have spent time in prayer and God’s Word about it. "If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. -- Matthew 18: 15 - 17.

What to do with the multitude of candy the kids have gathered while out Trick-or-Treating? This shouldn’t be a “problem”! Instead of teaching greed, don’t gather more than you need. Rather than going to every house for six blocks or more, set a limit on the number of houses to be visited. Around your block seems like plenty. If you feel a strong urge to bundle all the kids in the car to go a greater distance, take them to their grandparents house. Gramma & Grampa will be delighted to see the little ones, and so will their dear friends next door. Instead of throwing away candy, don’t gather it in the first place. This also teaches budgeting (how long do you want those twenty pieces to last?) It’s “green” because it doesn’t contribute to wasted candy in the landfill. It enhances community -- if the people in the neighborhood know how many kids to expect, they can budget correctly for the number of kids to expect to ring the doorbell. Trust me, kids get more enjoyment from being recognised by people they know (or by fooling them by not being spotted) than they do from strangers issuing a weak compliment. Being responsible is an every day, every situation, way of life. If we don’t model these behaviors for our children, we have no right to complain when they behave rudely. They do as they see their role models do.