Research says that singing to your baby will cause synapses to form in their tiny brains that will give them an advantage not only in learning the language they are speaking and it’s grammar, but make it easier for them to learn other languages. Silly songs also help! They’re learning every minute! Also read poetry and Dr. Seuss books. The meter and rhyme are marvelous!

An hymn is the best lullaby. In addition to calming and comforting your child, the hymn will bring them great comfort when they are all grown and it plays in their memory. Pray and sing, to and with, your children daily. You are setting the example for their future lives.

It is not possible to ‘spoil’ a child with love. Comfort and nurture are always appropriate. In no way do they reduce your responsibility to discipline and mentor. When a child is the least lovable is when he needs your compassion the most.

Children seem to gravitate toward me because no matter what they have to share with me, I find it interesting. I am by nature curious, but if you aren’t, you can learn to be interested in your own children. It starts when they are babies and you take delight in their smile, when they find their toes, when they babble, crawl, walk, learn their colors, write their name, read to you, grow a carrot, walk in high heels, . . . You get the idea. In addition to the wonderful relationship you are building with them, you are modeling how they relate to others!

“Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.” Catherine M. Wallace

What you SAY will have very little effect on your children. What you DO will be everything. The poem “Children Learn What They Live”, by Dorothy Law Nolte is SO very true! Remember YOU are the role model! You are teaching them how to be an adult, a partner, and how to choose a partner as well. You are passing on your morals, values, faith, and . . . "Do as I say, not as I do" has never been an effective strategy. The only thing that teaches a child is that the "bad" behavior is okay for adults. Pass on your positive attributes, and when you fail, apologize and let them know that you recognize the wrong, and what you are doing to improve! This will be a tremendous blessing for your children!

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE by Dorothy Law Nolte If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn. If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight. If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive. If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself. If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy. If a child lives with jealousy, he learns what envy is. If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty. If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be confident. If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient. If a child lives with praise, he learns to be appreciative. If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love. If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself. If a child lives with recognition, he learns that it is good to have a goal. If a child lives with sharing, he learns about generosity. If a child lives with honesty and fairness, he learns what truth and justice are. If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and in those about him. If a child lives with friendliness, he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live. If you live with serenity, your child will live with peace of mind. With what is your child living?

Do not tolerate ‘tattling’. For the most part, children need to learn and practice working things out for themselves. Tattling is a lesser form of bullying. If you don’t want to deal with a bully later, nip the tattling in the bud. By the way, a child requesting help from an adult when another child is in true danger, is NOT tattling!

Pick your battles. Most of the things you fuss at your kids about don’t matter. If it doesn’t affect their physical safety, or the ‘rights’ of another person, it probably doesn’t need to be a rule. When it comes to “rules”, less is more! If you can’t or won’t enforce it EVERY time, don’t make it a rule. Kids need to know exactly where the boundaries are, and where they have to learn to be responsible for themselves. Remember, you are working yourself out of a job.

When you want to give your child a choice, let them choose between two items you selected. As in: “Would you like to wear the red shirt or the blue one?” NOT: “What would you like to wear today?” Too many choices are overwhelming. Either/or choices help train them to make responsible choices. If you do not narrow down the field, don’t be surprised if they choose ‘Eggs Benedict’ for breakfast, when you were hoping for cereal or toast. Once you offer a choice, you MUST honor it.

I know many parents like to see their precious babies with long hair. I’m not ‘anti’ long hair, but I am ‘pro’ do-it-yourself. Their hair should not be longer than they can wash and comb on their own. It helps build self-respect, self-reliance and gives them a feeling of self-worth. If the child is able to wash, comb and perform basic care, it can be long and you can help them do ‘fancy’ for special occasions, but they should be able to perform their own basic hygiene by the time they are 4 years old.

The best way to teach your child to be fiscally responsible is to give them an allowance that they not only earn, but which covers their ‘expenses’. As in: school lunch, sports fees, lessons, and activities, savings and tithe. As they grow it can include more items and more complex ideas. Dance lessons are paid at the start of each month, meaning that ¼th of it needs to be saved each week until the bill is due. Extra money needed or wanted can be earned by doing additional tasks. When your children want the new something-or-other, they can earn it by doing additional tasks like washing windows, ironing pillowcases, raking leaves, etc. The converse is also true: neglect your chores and your allowance suffers -- first items to be omitted are the most ‘discretionary’ -- like spending money. This is an opportune time to teach the value of ‘work’ and being a responsible citizen. Remember your primary goal as a parent is to work yourself out of a job.

Five years old is not too young to have a job, a chore, or a responsibility (call it what you like). If they are old enough to walk, they are old enough to pick up their own toys and participate in their “hygiene”. By the time they go to school, they should have more responsibility -- make their own bed, set the table for meals, take dishes to the counter or sink (however it works in your house), dust, sweep, etc. Chores that apply to ‘their own space’ are not ones they should be paid for in an allowance. Those should be part of teaching them to be responsible for themselves. A few chores should be reserved for contributing to being part of the family. Chores for an ‘allowance’ are additional.

When you feel crabby, and are tempted to snap at your children, pause and remember, "If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come! -- Matthew 18: 6, 7 This means, if you act harshly and cause nasty feelings inside your child, YOU are in the wrong. You can discipline without making your child ‘hate’ you. If your child EVER says that, stop and figure out how you should have used discipline rather than punishment. Then seek forgiveness from God and your child.

Another good axiom is that we would all be better off if we would give others a piece of our heart rather than a piece of our mind. While I try to follow this, there are times I’m tempted to make an exception. You will be tempted to. When I was little, my Mother called this “being the bigger person”. However you look at it, not only will others be blessed by your behaviour, but you will be blessed as well.

Pay it Forward! You can’t always repay a kindness exactly, but you can always be alert for opportunities to be kind. And the best way to to be altruistic is to take every chance you can, to be helpful without keeping score. There’s an old saying about keeping track of the good you do for others in the sand and of the good others to for you carved in stone. It’s a good philosophy.

Make a point of encouraging at least one person every single day. It can be as simple as a thank you, or a smile, but it very well may be the only caring thing that will happen to them that day. With a few basic human kindnesses, you could change a life and change the world.

Encourage rather than praise whenever you can. Encouragement is more difficult, because it requires you to pause a moment and interact with the other person. This applies to any person you are in contact with, but especially to interactions with children. When someone receives praise, they may come to feel they are entitled to it. When a person receives encouragement, they feel confident in what they have done, and then apply that confidence to their next endeavor.

Praise the positive! As much as possible, praise them. That does NOT mean to over-praise or be un-genuine. Praise the behaviors you want to see, and ignore the ones you don’t want to see. Children want your attention and will do anything to get it. This applies most especially to bad behavior. It also applies to relationships in general. Spouses, friends, co-workers, people who ride your bus, the woman with two small children struggling her way through the grocery store. Everyone you encounter can benefit from a little praise, or a compliment.

A misbehaving child can and should be ignored as much as possible. That is the root of ‘Time Out’. If the child is misbehaving to get attention, giving them attention (even negative attention) will perpetuate and strengthen the bad behavior. Unless there is a safety issue (theirs or someone else’s) ignore it. When they figure out that negative behavior doesn't work, they will try something else -- something that you can reward, praise, or encourage. And the opposite is also true...

Timeout is only effective if it is used properly -- one quiet minute for each year of age (must be consecutive) is just about perfect. It should be in a quiet area, just close enough to the rest of the family to make the child feel left out, and just far enough away that the rest of the family seems to be paying no attention to the timed-out child. Once the time has been served, the child may choose when to rejoin the family. Remember, you are teaching them to master their own emotions. Work yourself out of a job. Once they have self-control, a more complex response is called for (see the rule just above this one).

Discipline and punishment are NOT the same thing. Do the first one, not the second. I know, that way is so much harder, but do it anyway. The lesson is learned much better when the consequence is both tied to the crime and fits it. As in: If homework is forgotten at school, grounded for a month is much less effective than if you create some homework for the child that evening (once again the dictionary or the Bible are great sources for this.) If they have done something mean or disrespectful, a far more effective consequence is to do something nice for both the person they harmed and a stranger (perhaps filling boxes for Operation Christmas Child, volunteering at “Feed My Starving Children”, a Food Bank, or....).

You are NOT your child’s best friend. You are the parent. You set the rules and enforce them. Your primary job as a parent is to work yourself out of a job. When your children are grown (over 21 and out of your house) you can and should have a friendship with each of them. If you’ve done the previous rule with grace and love, this will come easily, if not, you must now do the extra work to correct this.

Your primary responsibility as a parent is to work yourself out of a job by mentoring your child into a well-adjusted, responsible adult. In other words, you teach, mentor, and guide them into being responsible and knowledgeable adults. If you aren’t doing this, you’re doing it wrong.

The Swedes say, “Friends double our joy and divide our grief”. Make and keep a few really dear friends. They will be ‘Moses’ hands’, and you will be Aaron or Hur to them as well. Also, make your family, your friends. That doesn’t apply to parenting (until your children are fully grown).

God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do. Martin Luther called this “Grace Alone” look it up -- you’ll love what you find!

When you feel the urge to judge another, remember that you will be judged by the same standard you apply to others. This does not mean that you are okay if you just don’t do the same ‘terrible’ thing, it means that your heart will be judged as well as your behavior.“For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” -- Matthew 7:2 and "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” -- Luke 6:37 (For the truly dense: the person taking office supplies home from work is as equally guilty as the bank robber. It’s just that one ‘sin’ is more obvious. Be careful where you throw stones!)

Before you judge another, seek to understand. (Walk a mile in their moccasins.) Everyone has challenges in their life. Never waste an opportunity to come along side of another and help them.

With a pencil and a library card you can go anywhere, do anything, and neither one is very costly.

Philippians 4:13 says “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.” You can do ANY thing, but not EVERY thing at the same time.

If it is no longer useful to you, bless someone else with it. By the time your youngest child goes to school, you don’t need the baby bathtub anymore, but you probably know someone who does need it. If you outgrow it, change your preference, or have too many of an item, you can bless someone rather than let it moulder in a closet.