“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version) This is one of my very favorite Bible verses. It is a great comfort in challenging situations. It is NOT intended to make our Heavenly Father into Santa Claus. His plan for you is not to give you candy, toys, cartoons and amusement parks. His plan is to nourish your soul as well as your body. His plan is to bring you home to Him one day. Eternity in heaven is your hope and future! When troubled, turn to this verse and remember that God holds you in the palm of His hand, and wants to spend eternity with you!

Every one makes some less than perfect choices. Own them, figure out how to avoid repeating, and move on. Dr.Phil says “You either make the right decision or you make the decision right.” As often as possible, learn from the mistakes of others rather than repeat them. If you must mess up, use it for reference in the future. (The first time you mis-step might be accidental, repetition usually isn’t.)

‘Forgive’ doesn’t mean ‘forget’. If they don’t belong in your life, don’t be lazy and let them stay. Kick ‘em out and move on.

Forgiveness is something you do for your own well-being. Don’t allow another to live in your thoughts ‘rent’-free’. Kick them out by forgiving them. “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times - seven times. -- Matthew 18: 21, 21

ChildLIKE is not the same as childISH. Always be the first word, never the second. An easy way to remember this is to remember the ends of both words: LIKE and ISH. “At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.” -- Matthew 18: 1 - 5

Be part of the solution rather than part of the problem. When you disagree, whether it is a person, a position, a law, a practice, or anything else, it is irresponsible and immature to stand on the sidelines and protest, shout, pout, cast aspersions, or denigrate. Any time you disagree, FIRST sit down and think it through. If you think about it for a bit, you will find that you can have a difference of opinion with less chance of harming that relationship, than if you go in “hot”. A mature and responsible person pauses to think before speaking, AND presents a solution or an alternative along with their opposition. Most “hot topics” would disappear if this was common practice. For example: if you are anti-abortion, work on ways that prevent the pregnancy in the first place, like cherishing yourself and your future spouse and practicing abstinence. It is 100% effective at preventing pregnancy and STD’s. Think of it and teach it in the positive; as a gift, rather than as a restriction or prohibition. Tend to the unwanted, uncherished, and mistreated people -- foster care, adoption, shelters, even anti-bullying. Talk is cheap. DO something. Work to make the thing you disagree with disappear. Returning to the example: the solution to abortion is not banning it, it’s making it irrelevant. If you can’t present a solution to a difference of opinion, keep your mouth shut until you can!

When you have a disagreement with someone, or feel the urge to pass judgement on another, refer to Matthew 18, AFTER you have spent time in prayer and God’s Word about it. "If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. -- Matthew 18: 15 - 17.

What to do with the multitude of candy the kids have gathered while out Trick-or-Treating? This shouldn’t be a “problem”! Instead of teaching greed, don’t gather more than you need. Rather than going to every house for six blocks or more, set a limit on the number of houses to be visited. Around your block seems like plenty. If you feel a strong urge to bundle all the kids in the car to go a greater distance, take them to their grandparents house. Gramma & Grampa will be delighted to see the little ones, and so will their dear friends next door. Instead of throwing away candy, don’t gather it in the first place. This also teaches budgeting (how long do you want those twenty pieces to last?) It’s “green” because it doesn’t contribute to wasted candy in the landfill. It enhances community -- if the people in the neighborhood know how many kids to expect, they can budget correctly for the number of kids to expect to ring the doorbell. Trust me, kids get more enjoyment from being recognised by people they know (or by fooling them by not being spotted) than they do from strangers issuing a weak compliment. Being responsible is an every day, every situation, way of life. If we don’t model these behaviors for our children, we have no right to complain when they behave rudely. They do as they see their role models do.

Discipline: Consequences, Privileges & Redemption. Discipline is to train, not to punish. Use consequences to curb behaviors you’d like to see less of, and privileges to encourage the behaviors you’d like to see more of. Redemption is a wonderful way to model God’s grace, and to reward contrition and repentance. Consequences can be as simple as ‘timeout’, the temporary or permanent loss of an item or privilege, or an extra chore. Privileges can include all sorts of extras like getting to stay up later, have an outing, spend special time with a parent or other family member (like going to Gramma’s -- wink, wink) or a longed for item. Redemption is your response to contrition or repentance. Rather than assigning an extra chore, a better way is to have the child do something for another. It can be as simple as getting a glass of water for a sibling in a very young child, to mitzvah’s and servanthood in an older one.

Winning an argument causes a loss in another area. Keep in mind you are still paying for the argument -- just in another area. Winning should be considered a last resort. The goal is always to share information and seek agreement. If you can talk to each other calmly, lovingly, and respectfully, it won’t escalate into an argument in the first place. If you have a lot of arguments or disagreements with any other person, you are lazy and wrong, even if you win.

Be responsible in all your encounters with others. In person as well as when using social media. If you don’t want your grandmother, pastor, or future employer to see it or know about it, don’t do it. By the same token, if it has to be a secret, you shouldn't be a part of it. There are many in the world who would like you to believe their deception about “privacy” or “secrecy”. Many people fall for these deceptions. To their horror they discover that their privacy has been compromised in some way. A credit card number copied and used without consent of the owner. A photo promised to disappear like magic, suddenly appears on the internet for the world to see. Classified Government documents are leaked. Private communications are revealed. The simple solution is: If you don’t want anyone to know, don’t do it.

Be appropriate. Crying in front of your child when your dog dies is appropriate. Screaming because you didn’t get the parking spot you wanted is not. Kissing your spouse in front of your child is appropriate, making-out is not. Current fashions can be worn without being an exhibitionist. By being appropriate at all times, you are a good example for your children and for all the people you will encounter throughout your day. This will also put others at ease in your presence, and it’s simply good manners!

Honesty IS the best policy. It contributes toward your integrity, and it doesn’t matter if your memory starts to go -- you don’t have to remember what lie you told, nor whom you told it to. This includes honesty in your emotions. Be genuine in every part of your life, including sadness and tears, as well as joy and singing (and in front of your children if you have them.)

Children should participate in church, family devotions, and prayers as soon as they can sit up. They won’t learn the how-to of a relationship with God if you don’t model it, anymore than they will learn proper table manners by sitting in the kitchen while you eat in the dining room. They should be included in faith activities from the moment of conception. If YOU are living a faith-filled life, they will come naturally into faith, and it will be an integral part of them, just as breathing or their hearts beating. If you haven't been living your life this way, start now.

Whatever is going on in your life, spend some time each day talking to God about it. It’s okay to have any emotion. His shoulders are broad. King David was angry with Him, yet God called him “beloved”. He’s more interested in the relationship, than whether the emotion is positive or negative. Martin Luther said that the more things he had to do in a day meant the more time he needed with God at the start of the day.

My great-grandmother said that the most healthful meals had the most colors on the plate. This is an easy way to have a well rounded diet. Even your three-year-old can participate in making healthful choices.

The advice ‘darker is better’ applies to many things, principally ingestibles -- dark chocolate, red wine, amber beer, dark brown sugar, deeply colored fruits and vegetables (beets, spinach, asparagus, blueberries, lingonberries, black currants, etc.). The health benefits escalate as the color deepens. Indulge and enjoy!

One or two ounces of dark chocolate every day is therapeutic -- be healthful.

All things in moderation -- wine, fats, carbs, eggs, whatever the current thing to avoid is -- neither too much nor too little is appropriate. There are no “bad foods”, just less than perfect choices. A little of this, a little of that, wide variety and moderation. This applies to more than just food. It’s a good way to keep balance in all areas of your life.

Get some exercise every day. Walking, biking and home care should be sufficient. If you’re watching a lot of TV, there are probably tasks that need to be done. On the other hand, if you’ve washed the kitchen floor, done a bunch of laundry, cut the grass, and… , you don’t need a gym membership. AND, you shouldn’t feel guilty about sitting down for a break and watching TV, reading a book, or whatever you like to do to take a break

Many cultures practice some sort of an afternoon break. In Mexico, it is “siesta”. In England it’s “Tea Time”. In northern European countries, it’s “Coffee Time”. Call it what ever you want to, but take a break in the afternoon. A little treat with your break will boost you up to make your afternoon more effective. One piece of cake, a couple of cookies, or some fruit is great. It’s not a full meal. -- And for that matter, you should also practice “Elevenses” (a morning break).

Until your children start buying their own clothing, YOU are responsible for what they wear. Rips, bad hems, buttons off, stains, out-grown... all of that is YOUR fault and responsibility. The first three you should have taken care of before the item made it to their room, and the last, you should have removed at the first sign of it being tight. You are also responsible for making ‘modest’ choices and for teaching them to do the same. It is more than possible to be stylish and modest. They won’t learn it if you don’t teach it. ALSO, you should practice it so they can learn by your example.

A few times a year, break one of your rules on purpose, with your children. When Kimberly was little, on the first ‘warm’ day (70 degrees) we walked around the lake and had ice cream for supper. The memories are sweet and vivid, and it’s a tradition she still practices. I didn’t worry about the calories, as we had gotten quite a bit of exercise on our walk. When good nutrition is part of every day, you don’t need to worry about an occasional wild moment. The few ‘special’ breaks’, build memories, and help teach them not to be too rigid in their life.

Every person at the table should eat one spoonful of each food at the meal. And no dessert unless the main meal is eaten completely. When they are little, you know approximately how much they are likely to eat, and as they grow and take over that decision, they are much less likely to waste food or overeat if you have been teaching good behaviors from the beginning. This does not mean STUFF them! It does mean be responsible in everything you do, even in your/their use of food.

Take every opportunity to teach your child a new word, skill, or craft. These are not only tremendous blessings for your little ones, but it builds memories and bonds that will help you get along with each other. When they are older, they will continue this practice. Okay, in case that wasn’t obvious enough, I’ll reframe it. If you (or anyone else) are alive, each day is an opportunity to learn something new. It helps keep you vibrant. Let no day be wasted. And another thing, this should include time in The Word - your spiritual life is important too!

Even though Philippians 4: 13 says, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength,” no one can do everything at once. Be aware of keeping balance in your life and in your family. If you’re feeling over-extended, or bored, it’s time to take a look at how you are allocating your time. This devotional, will bless you: http://www.thelife.com/dailydevotions/a-balancing-act then follow its advice: “Take out a piece of paper. At the top of it, write three columns, one labeled “emotional,” one labeled “physical,” and one labeled “spiritual.” Post it on your fridge and commit to doing one thing per day to refuel in these vital areas of self-care. However you choose to refuel, don’t miss out on the sweet moments of life your Father wants to bless you with today.”

Read to your child every day. As soon as you know you’re pregnant, (both parents) start reading aloud. It doesn’t matter so much WHAT you read in the early months. It does matter THAT you read. The brain of a child starts forming connections and patterns from the start. The more varied the vocabulary you introduce, the more varied the vocabulary they will be comfortable with. As they learn to read, let them read to you. Sharing the reading and then working yourself out of this ‘job’ will help them all through their lives. Also, read for your own pleasure in the presence of your children. They will make habits based on yours. Thirty minutes a day is not too much to spend for the rewards of this habit!

Research says that singing to your baby will cause synapses to form in their tiny brains that will give them an advantage not only in learning the language they are speaking and it’s grammar, but make it easier for them to learn other languages. Silly songs also help! They’re learning every minute! Also read poetry and Dr. Seuss books. The meter and rhyme are marvelous!

An hymn is the best lullaby. In addition to calming and comforting your child, the hymn will bring them great comfort when they are all grown and it plays in their memory. Pray and sing, to and with, your children daily. You are setting the example for their future lives.

It is not possible to ‘spoil’ a child with love. Comfort and nurture are always appropriate. In no way do they reduce your responsibility to discipline and mentor. When a child is the least lovable is when he needs your compassion the most.

Children seem to gravitate toward me because no matter what they have to share with me, I find it interesting. I am by nature curious, but if you aren’t, you can learn to be interested in your own children. It starts when they are babies and you take delight in their smile, when they find their toes, when they babble, crawl, walk, learn their colors, write their name, read to you, grow a carrot, walk in high heels, . . . You get the idea. In addition to the wonderful relationship you are building with them, you are modeling how they relate to others!